Part 1: Self-Sufficiency at the Tiny Home

It is public knowledge that Elon Musk sold his mansions and moved into a $50,000 modular tiny home in Boca Chica, Texas. However, SpaceX employees harbor a secret: their CEO can calculate rocket trajectories in his head but is virtually “illiterate” when facing common kitchen appliances.

Last Sunday, Elon’s private chef took the morning off. After pulling an all-night marathon debating on X, Elon felt hungry. He stepped into the compact kitchen with the confidence of a man who had just successfully commanded the “Mechazilla” robotic arms to catch a falling rocket from the sky.

“Cooking?” Elon muttered. “Fundamentally, it’s just the transfer of thermal energy into organic molecules. A simple physics problem.”

Part 2: The War with the Air Fryer

His first target: a bag of frozen french fries. Elon picked up the latest model air fryer, rotating it in his hands as if inspecting a malfunctioning Starlink satellite.

He stared at the touch control panel, which featured dozens of icons: a chicken, a potato slice, a steak.

“The User Interface (UI) is absolute garbage,” Elon grumbled. “Why isn’t there an API port so I can input command codes? Why select a chicken icon when I just need $180^\circ$C for 15 minutes?”

After five minutes of fruitlessly searching for a “Start” button, Elon applied First Principles thinking. He pulled the basket out, stared at the heating element, and concluded: “It’s just a miniature fusion reactor.” He pressed the “Defrost Fish” icon because he thought the blue light looked like… the color of the future.

The result? The air fryer began beeping incessantly, sounding like a pressure drop alarm on a Crew Dragon capsule. Elon froze, hands raised in the air as if surrendering to a 100-dollar machine.

Part 3: The Microwave Disaster and “Relative Theory”

Defeated by the potatoes, Elon turned to some leftover pasta in the fridge. He placed the plate inside the microwave. This time, he decided to bypass the default settings.

“I need to optimize for speed,” Elon thought. He set the power to maximum and the timer to 10 minutes, reasoning that “higher temperatures allow molecular structures to reach saturation faster.”

Just two minutes in, a loud “pop” echoed through the kitchen. Tomato sauce splattered across the walls of the microwave, creating a scene that looked like the surface of Mars after a meteor strike. Elon opened the door, looked at the shriveled pasta—now essentially space junk—and sighed: “Clearly, this microwave has a localized thermal dissipation issue.”

Part 4: Help from “Mission Control” (The Neighbor)

A security guard passing by the window saw smoke billowing from the kitchen and knocked frantically: “Sir, is everything okay? Did a Starship explode?”

Elon, his face lightly speckled with tomato sauce, replied calmly: “No, I am merely testing the thermal resistance limits of ceramics in a microwave environment. By the way, do you know how to override the operating system of this toaster? It keeps ejecting the bread before I authorize it. It needs better automation.”

The guard looked at the toaster, which wasn’t even plugged in, and sighed: “Sir, you just need to put the plug in the socket.”

Part 5: On Geniuses and Everyday Life

This story later became a legendary anecdote within Tesla and SpaceX. It proves an obvious truth: Elon Musk’s brain is designed to solve problems millions of miles from Earth, not to figure out why a rice cooker lid won’t open while it’s boiling.

Elon can disrupt the entire automotive industry, but when faced with a manual can opener, he remains a “commoner” lost in the maze of mechanical household gadgets.

Epilogue: The Billionaire’s Dinner

Later that day, Elon Musk was seen sitting by the beach at Boca Chica, holding a bag of… snack chips and a can of Coke.

“At least,” Elon posted on X, “food packaging doesn’t require a software update to open. A masterpiece of minimalist design!”