Why Hoda Kotb & Ex-Fiance Joel Schiffman Called Off Their Engagement

NEW YORK, NY — In an emotionally charged segment that left viewers speechless and co-hosts visibly shaken, Today show anchor Hoda Kotb revealed for the first time the painful truth behind her highly publicized engagement to financier Joel Schiffman — describing it as a “beautiful lie” that nearly broke her spirit.

The moment came during a heartfelt discussion on honesty in relationships during Wednesday’s broadcast, when Kotb suddenly grew quiet and took a long pause before saying:

“I’ve never told the full truth. Not publicly. Not even to myself. But the engagement… the ring, the smiles — it was a beautiful lie. One I held onto because I didn’t want to face what it really was.”

A Perfect Romance… On the Surface

Kotb and Schiffman were once considered one of America’s most adored couples. After meeting at a speaking event in 2013, the two dated for several years before getting engaged in 2019. They adopted two daughters, Haley and Hope, and built what appeared to be a joyful family life together.

But in her emotional on-air confession, Kotb shared that the public image masked growing emotional distance, unmet needs, and difficult conversations behind closed doors.

“He’s not a bad man,” Kotb clarified. “But we wanted different things. And I ignored those red flags because I was so desperate to believe the fairytale.”

“I Lost Myself in the Illusion”

Choking back tears, Kotb said she spent years second-guessing herself, pushing down instincts and discomfort in the name of appearances — and fear of starting over in midlife.

“I thought: this has to work. I’ve waited too long. I can’t walk away from this now,” she admitted. “But deep down, I knew the connection we once had was fading.”

Kotb revealed that by the time she and Schiffman called off the engagement in early 2022, they had already been living “more like polite co-parents than partners.”

“We smiled for the cameras, but the house was quiet. We didn’t fight — because we’d stopped talking.”

A Silent Struggle in the Spotlight

The public split in 2022 was amicable and respectful — but now, Kotb admits it was far more painful than anyone knew.

“I cried myself to sleep for months. Not because I lost him — but because I had lost myself trying to keep something alive that had already died.”

Her co-host Jenna Bush Hager hugged Kotb on-air, saying, “You are so brave for telling the truth. So many people stay in something because it’s ‘good enough.’ But you wanted more — and that’s okay.”

Viewers React With Shock and Support

Hoda Kotb Reveals Why She Split With Fiancé Joel Schiffman

The internet lit up immediately after the broadcast. Hashtags like #HodaStrong, #BeautifulLie, and #SpeakYourTruthHoda began trending across X and Instagram.

“This makes me love her even more,” one fan posted. “She went through all that in silence — and still showed up smiling for us every day.”

Others praised Kotb for opening up about the emotional complexity of long-term relationships and how women often silence themselves for the sake of harmony.

Where They Stand Now

Kotb emphasized that she and Schiffman remain committed co-parents and that there is “no bitterness — just clarity.”

“We gave each other a chapter,” she said. “But I’ve realized that sometimes loving someone means letting them go. And loving yourself means knowing when it’s time to stop pretending.”

What’s Next for Hoda?

Kotb says she’s focusing on healing, rediscovering her identity outside of partnership, and being present for her daughters.

“I’m not afraid of being alone,” she said. “I’m afraid of living a life that isn’t mine.”

NBC executives have reportedly expressed support for Kotb’s candor, with insiders saying she is considering writing a new memoir about motherhood, resilience, and late-life transformation.

Final Words That Moved a Nation

Hoda Kotb reveals the story behind her ring that 'looks like a STOP sign' |  Daily Mail Online

As the show cut to commercial, Kotb gave viewers one final thought:

“Don’t wait for a breakdown to tell the truth. Your life isn’t a show. You don’t owe anyone the illusion. You owe yourself the truth.”