THIS wild reimagining of Emily Bronte’s novel seems to have replaced huge chunks of her classic with pages from a Mills & Boon, a couple of chapters from Alice In Wonderland and pictures from an S&M catalogue.

Like a latex-covered daydream of every schoolgirl forced to read the 1847 book, the film sees class-crossed lovers Cathy and Heathcliff romp their way towards disaster, in place of the sexless rom-zero-com Bronte wrote.

6
Margot Robbie as Catherine Earnshaw in Wuthering HeightsCredit: PA
 

6
Robbie and co-star Jacob Elordi as HeathcliffCredit: Alamy
From the opening credits, Brit director Emerald Fennell makes it clear that the perverse has a leading role.

After her huge success with Saltburn — which still has many reeling at “dirty bathwater” — she introduces us to a very gritty Yorkshire, where even a nun is sex- obsessed and the noises of a man hanging can sound just like those of one ­pleasuring himself.

A young boy (Adolescence’s Owen Cooper) is brought to crumbling manor house Wuthering Heights by Earnshaw (a brilliant Martin Clunes) to save him from a violent life.

Which is a great irony, as drunk gambler Earnshaw is often ready with his belt.

His precocious daughter Cathy names her new playmate, who cannot read or write, Heathcliff — and he is soon infatuated by the blonde brat, declaring “I will never leave you, no matter what you do”.

Fast forward to their adulthood, where beautiful Cathy (Margot Robbie) is in desperate need to marry into money as the house around her goes to ruin.

But she is distracted.

6
The film sees class-crossed lovers Cathy and Heathcliff romp their way towards disasterCredit: PA
 

6
Cathy, who in the book is 18, is played by 35-year-old RobbieCredit: Alamy
The now gruff Heathcliff (Jacob Elordi) is roaming around the grounds, sleeping on logs and saying mono- syllabic words in a thick Yorkshire accent.

While his filthy hair is matted and his teeth are missing, his body is that of a Greek god.

Tanned and ripped, he performs every task topless.

One of those tasks is shielding Cathy from the sadomasochist behaviour of her staff, who like to get kinky with horse whips and reins.

Cathy finds her way out of this strange life with a proposal from a wealthy neighbour, the kindly Edgar (Shazad Latif).

He is infatuated with Cathy, dressing her up in an MTV version of period costumes and treating her like a precious doll at a tea party.

The thing is, Cathy does not want to be dealt with delicately.

‘CUNNING TO CRUEL’

She cannot stop fantasising about being thrown down on the Yorkshire Moors by Heathcliff.

So when he comes back into her life, all suited and booted with enough money in his pocket to buy Wuthering Heights, she can finally have her sexual awakening.

This is where the film becomes chaotic.

Heathcliff is meant to be a crazed maniac for Cathy, but he also keeps asking for consent.

Cathy, who in the book is 18, but is played by 35-year-old Robbie, goes from cunning to cruel.

The basis of their ­unrelenting love is not ­relatable, as we never saw it play out in anything more than them really fancying each other.

This over-stylised drama is fierce and fun — but unfortunately it is also sex over substance.

6
Heathcliff is meant to be a crazed maniac for Cathy, but he also keeps asking for consentCredit: Alamy
 

6
Brit director Emerald Fennell makes it clear that the perverse has a leading roleCredit: Splash